Why you should Stop Working On Yourself NOW!
This has become a sort of a twenty first century’s common plague!
Most of us have either done it, or at least know somebody who had been ‘working on themselves’. It usually means many long hours of therapy, stretching over months or even years. As much as I am an advocate for self-awareness, I see more and more people falling into the trap of focusing on ‘looking at their problems’, ‘discovering their issues’. That may all well work in small doses. Did you ever hear the saying ‘where attention goes, energy flows and results show’? Too many of us spend time looking for the pitfalls, never experiencing what is really is like to be whole, complete, self-aware.
Many people focused on ‘working on themselves’ do it with such passion and devotion, that they rarely have the time to actually stop and enjoy their lives for a change! The more you dig, the more issues you find, that is guaranteed! What if instead of looking at what is wrong, we looked at what is right?
There is a technique I have been using with my clients for many years now. It is fun and it is effective. It is all focused on how you want your life to be, as opposed to how you wish it was not. I ask the person I am working with to create an image of a person they aspire to be, listing the qualities they would like to have. Their past is not allowed to be a part of that process. I make it clear that our past performance is no indication of our future potential. They are to create out of desire, not limitations. The more clear the image of the person they desire to be, the more effective the technique. That is the end of the creative part of the process. Then the fun part of it begins, the part where they get to actually be that person. The person is asked to go through their daily tasks as the person they have designed to be, the New Me. I literally ask them that when they wake up in the morning they make sure that they walk out of bed the way the New Me would. When they take a shower, they know very well the way the Old Me would do it, now they are having fun doing it as the New Me. When they walk into the office, they walk the way the New Me would. They go through all their daily tasks that way. It does not matter that the Old Me would just come home back from work and crash on the sofa, watching TV; the New Me will always have higher standards. As a matter of fact, the New Me will not only have standards, but also be aware of what they are. Personal standards is not something the Old Me would often be concerned with. And so after work, the New Me might decide to pursue an interest the person had for a long time, a desire they never acted on. The New Me will dress differently, answer the phone differently, and finally deal with life’s challenges differently! It is fun, it is empowering and it breaks the habit of running on an auto-pilot, allowing the person to add variety to their behaviour, but most of all, it gives them new choices. When we have more choices, we become enriched by them and the change simply … happens.
Does it mean that such person no longer has issues? Of course not! But the New Me has a very different attitude towards those issues compared with the Old Me! And that attitude makes all the difference. Try it out! Have Fun!