Maggie was devastated. She was just laid off. She still could not believe it actually happened! She had been working for the company for fourteen years, having proven on many occasions what a reliable employee she was and to be treat like that after all this time was just inhuman! She felt powerless and victimised.
Fred was frustrated; he very clearly told his boss that when the next round of redundancy packages comes up, he wants to be the first one on the list. He made it clear that did not like the job, that he was no longer interested in it and that he needed a complete change. Instead of being let go, he was assigned a new project. It just did not make sense to Fred!
How could it be that the person who very clearly communicates his desire to leave – gets to stay and keep the job and the person who so very much is trying to hold on to it ends up being the very person to lose it?! Is it a form of injustice, a sheer lack of understanding on the part of the managers, a twisted act of faith? Or, could it be that there is a perfectly explainable answer to it, one that puts the employee back in charge of the process?
When I started working with Angie I was not surprised to find out that for the past twelve months she had nightmares of her losing her job. It all started very innocently with just a thought that it might happen to her. She used to think “I don’t want to lose my job!”. Then she actually started fantasising what consequences that would have on her life. By the time she realised, she was replaying movies of how and when she would be let go. No sooner than that happened the feeling of fear came in. It became intense, very intense. Few weeks later, Angie had no job.
She was shocked, it made no sense, why did she get the opposite of what she was asking?
But did she really?
You know that if I ask you not to think of an orange, you need to think of it first in order for you not to think of it then. You might have also heard that the conscious mind does not process negation. Did you ever watch any of the programs where the scientists connect the brain of a runner to all sorts of brain-function-measuring machines? They do two things with them – they first ask them to run a real race while connected to the computers, then they ask them to run an imaginary race, where the runner is visualising it, making it all happen in his mind. If you have ever watched any of those programs you would know that the mind does not distinguish what is actually happening in our ‘reality’ from what we are creating in our minds as our reality. The bottom line of it is, that the pictures we are creating as a powerful as the ‘reality’ surrounding us! Keeping all that in mind, what happens when a person thinks to themselves “I do not want to lose my job”. Take the negation out of the sentence (remember the mind does not process it), add the rehearsed pictures of that actually happening (=the person losing their job), add to it the reinforcement of a powerful emotion – Fear, and there you have it, a perfect recipe for a redundancy package!
By the way, it might come handy to know, that our mind does not make a distinction between what we consider a powerful, useful, ‘good’ emotion and a negative, damaging, ‘bad’ one! It only makes a distinction between a powerful and a weak, powerless emotion, always choosing to go with the powerful one!
I hope that you are beginning to understand what has really happened in Maggie’s case. She got exactly, precisely what She Wanted! The first mistake she has made was to start with a statement of that, which she did not want to happen (“I do not want to lose my job.”). She then amplified it by the pictures of her actually going through it and as the final aspect she added the powerful emotion of Fear to it! And bingo!
Fred’s case was the opposite. He was dreading staying in the same job, and that was what he was saying to himself “I do not want to be here!”. At the same time he was creating the pictures in his mind of yet another year in the same job and how he would hate it (strong emotion!). And that’s how simple it was.
Now, I know that some of you will say, if it was so simple and so obvious, why have those people done that to themselves? Well, the answer is simple as well:
1). They had no idea they were doing it to themselves, convinced that they were expressing themselves very clearly as to their desires, they had no understanding of the power and the precise nature of the commands they have given to their minds.
2). They had no understanding of how the human mind works. I say it often that the most powerful tool in the hands of a novice is often a recipe for disaster!
2). Maggie and Fred could not have done something about that, which they were not aware of. Once they understood that they were completely responsible for their very predictable end results, they were astonished of just how powerful their minds have turned out to be!
And so, dear friend, should you desire to lose your job, please apply the below instructions by doing the opposite of what they say:
A). Become clear on whether you want to stay or leave your current job.
B). Create a clear, precise phrase which expresses exactly what you desire, e.g. “I remain in my current job”. State it in the present tense, the only tense the mind understands!
C). Create pictures or movies (whichever works for you better) that support clearly exactly what you want (see yourself happy and fulfilled in your current job at some later time in the future).
D). Create a powerful emotion that supports that (this emotions will always happen to be linked with what you believe; should you believe deep inside that there is no chance of you staying in your current job, that powerful emotion/belief, will override your wishful thinking! Be aware of that. In that case change your belief and create a strong, real emotion that supports your desire to stay in the job!).
E). Remember that for as long as there is an inner conflict as to what you really believe in in relation to your job, i.e. if there is a part of you that wants to believe that you can hold on to your job and at the same time there is a part of you that is afraid that it might not happen, the stronger, not more positive(!) emotion will take over. You cannot fake emotions, you either have them or you do not!
F). At all times continue to take charge of what you are producing in your mind – the thoughts you are generating, the pictures you are creating and the emotions that go with them. When needed, adjust them to suit your goals.
G). Keep measuring your progress based on the feedback you are getting – your results. If you are getting exactly what you want, you are on the right track. If you are not, trust me, it is not a sign that the Universe has conspired against you, it is just a sign that the way in which you express what you want is inconsistent.
Have Fun! I am looking forward to hearing how you are getting on!