My Life Purpose Is …?
Sitting in front of me was a woman in her late forties, an owner of a well-known, very successful business. A fulfilled mother and wife.
At least that was the way the world saw her.
The person really sitting in front of me was confused and insecure. Even her very expensive outfit and heavy make-up could not hide it. She had no idea why she came to see me, but somehow she felt it was important that she did. She talked about her life, her childhood, but most of all about the high price she paid every day for hiding her insecurity and unhappiness from the external world.
Ally neither knew nor understood herself, and the few things that she did know made her run away from herself even more. Years of unresolved issued, words that needed to be spoken but got lost in translation, emotions that needed to be acknowledged and healed, made Ally slowly drift further and further away from herself, until one day she woke up not remembering who she was. It was a very painful day.
At that time she already had a very successful business, she was a mother and a wife. She has achieved some of her biggest dreams – she had a family of her own, she was successful and financially independent. If only all of that could make her feel better! But Life seemed to pass her by and the realisation of that fact was very hurtful. She could not pin point what exactly was missing in it. But whatever it was, it was huge.
She would have pondered on that idea a little bit longer if only she had the time, but there was so much work to be done, bills to be paid, children to be put to bed, a marriage to be sustained, visitors to be entertained. Time was a rare commodity. And so one day started to resemble the other, everything in life became almost predictable, from her husband’s moods to their summer holiday destinations. Ally found herself working long hours to keep the business going and the bills paid. She could not be there for the kids as much as she should, she felt, but she made sure to make it up to them with expensive gifts. She was a master when it came to justifying her actions. She was a head of a business and a family, she had to be realistic and responsible, she thought.
As the years went by Ally’s life became more difficult, there were a lot of obstacles to overcome almost every step of the way, both at home and at work. She slowly grew to believe that in the words of her father “life was hard and there was very little we could do about it”. In her inner dictionary the word “joy” had been slowly replaced by the word “responsibility”. “Happiness” became an unrealistic fantasy, much overrated, perhaps even unreal in the grown up world. She has replaced “I feel” with a more adequate “I think”, disassociating herself from any unpleasant or challenging emotion that could emerge within her. Basically Ally felt that the best days of her life were way over. She had no idea how it happened, and wondered when and what went so terribly wrong?
Something was missing in her life, but the day she realised it, it was too late to do something about it, she thought. And so the routine and work took over. She lived on an autopilot. Sometimes it felt she was so good at it, she could live her life with her eyes closed. It turned out to be a very effective painkiller. It stopped the inner Ally from hurting, but like all medication, it had serious side effects. (Un)fortunately she could not escape her inner issues, no matter how fast and how far she run from them. She was always carrying them with her, no matter where she went.
One could think that perhaps Ally was a victim of a horrific childhood, that she has had a share of some awful experiences at some stage in her life. But it was not the case at all. Her childhood could be classified as “normal or average”. She was not abused or abandoned or mistreated in any way. Like most of us, she simply came into this life completely unprepared for what was ahead of her.
What would Ally’s life look like, if at the very beginning of somebody explained to her that She has come into this life to learn specific lessons, that She is the one who had planned this life and is for it at all times fully responsible, that She has brought with her a mixture of talents and abilities that make her unique and special and that upon discovering them her Life Purpose would be revealed?
Well, her life would certainly be different, she would have taken different decision, made different choices; she would have searched for happiness, joy and fulfilment. There would have been no frustration and obstacles. But there were.
Ally needed an accelerated introduction into the major truths of life. And this was where things have finally started making sense to her.
She was told that the story of her life had started a long time before she took the first breath of air on this planet. Ally’s eyes opened, she was ready to hear more:
Each soul having made the decision to return to Earth for another human incarnation enters the library of their own past lives and selects from the shelf marked “unlearned lessons” those it would like to focus on in the coming life. This gives us the basis for our Life Plan or Contract, as some call it.
The soul then searches for other souls, equally interested in returning into this world and asks if they would mind helping the soul to learn the lesson it has chosen. This is the moment our parents, siblings, wives, husbands, children and all the other people who, at some time in the future, will play an important role in our lives, are chosen.
Our physical body, with detailed perfection, is carefully chosen as well. Depending on our lessons, we select the gender, the blood group, the body’s likelihood to develop a specific disease in order to learn a lesson (or in case we resist learning one of them). We know how pretty or not, tall or short, thin or chubby the body will be. All of that perfectly fits into our plan, more than that – it is a crucial part of it!
As souls, on the highest level, we were all created the same, therefore we all share the same abilities. What one soul can do, all the others can. Souls do not envy certain abilities that other souls have, as they recognize that the very fact that another soul can do something is the best proof that they can do it too. (Here on Earth we see it the other way round, the Truth gets distorted somewhere along the way.)
And so, out of all the most amazing abilities that each soul shares, it picks a combination of those that will help it to learn those lessons. Those abilities translated into human language are called “talents”.
That combination of abilities/talents allows us to become teachers, writers, truck drivers, TV presenters, gardeners, etc.
During our earthly experience we are meant to remain connected with the higher part of us, which remains at all times in the sprit realms, which we refer to as our Higher Self. This connection guarantees a smooth passage as we sail through life. It helps us to stay on the course, make our human adventure more joyful and effortless. But very often that connection is lost or forgotten. The feeling of separation takes over and we feel that we are on our own, with no sense of direction and no real reason for being here. The connection to the Higher Self helps us to retain the wonderful, child like sense of awe, where everything is exciting, new and worth discovering. This connection allows people like Ally to always stay in touch with Ally. It helps to dream, constantly reminding us that there is nothing we cannot have or do.
But, once the full plan for the coming life is in place, the soul goes through a Void, a place where the memories and experiences it had are as if erased, and so the soul enters this life with very little or no memories of who it is and why it is here. But this is a part of the plan as well.
The process that it takes it to discover who we are is often far more important than the actual discovery itself. It is the very process that shapes us into who we are. The discovery of our Life Purpose is merely a confirmation that we have been going in the right direction all this time.
Living without the sense of purpose is like aimlessly drifting on an abandoned ship through the vast oceans of this world. We are taken where the storms and currents take us, but we are helpless in our inability to get anywhere. Even if we get somewhere, we are not able to recognize if this is the place where we were meant to be.
Imagine that you get into your car and just start driving aimlessly. Will you ever reach your destination? No, because you do not know where you are going. If, on the other hand, you know that you are in New York and that your final destination is Paris, even if you have no idea how to get there, and you end up going there through Alaska, you will eventually always get to Paris. And when you get there, your sense of achievement will be overwhelming. And all the experiences you have gathered along the way will make you richer, will make you a better person.
What human race has lost over the thousands of years is the sense of purpose in our lives. We have forgotten that it exists, we have forgotten that there are some very good reasons for us to be here. More importantly we have forgotten that we have chosen to be here.
We are the only source of all the goodness and of all the badness in our lives. It is a very powerful truth, it can be freeing or overwhelming. It is, again, our choice!
Some of us go through very painful experiences. But if we plan our lives ourselves, would you, as an all loving soul, choose a life scenario in order to punish or destroy yourself? No, you have made your life choices out of the love that you, as a soul, have for yourself as a human being. From the soul point of view nothing is unfair, unjust. A soul recognizes that even the greatest tragedies bring a positive change into our lives. In fact, the more negative something seems to a human being, the bigger the shift, the more profound lessons are being learned. But the humans have long forgotten to look at everything that happens in an neutral way, noticing both the negative AND the positive sides of things. We get stuck in the negative ones and wonder why we get more and more of them?
We get stuck in what we call Reality, not knowing that as such it does not exist, as everything that we are observing in our lives at the moment is a direct effect of the way we were thinking and feeling some time in the past. And by changing the way we think and feel now we are influencing our life in some time to come.
We are taught cutting edge technologies, but we have no idea about how the human mind works and even less idea of how to beneficially use it to our advantage.
We are the ONLY creative force in our Universes. I am in mine and you are in yours. It is not the economical situation, our traumatic past, lack of money, mean parents or any other factor that shape our life and our perception of it. We are the Great Master in it. But we create unconsciously, almost blindly, it seems. Imagine giving a very powerful magic wand to a toddler. The child has no idea of the power of the tool it has in its hands. The lack of recognition of its power together with the lack of responsibility for its creations is a recipe for disaster.
Life is meant to be joyful, exciting, filled with amazing adventures. If that is the way your life feels at the moment, your are on the right track. We are meant to dream and dream BIG! The minute we achieve what we have set out to achieve, we need to set new goals, we need to search for new desires. This is the only guarantee of progress, of development. But human beings resist change, any change, regardless of how big or small. That resistance comes from fear of the unknown, which in turn is directly related to the lack of Trust, the common disease of the human race. We do not trust in the Greater Plan, as we often do not know that it exists. We are not being ignorant, we are simply unaware. We do not trust ourselves, used to recognize only weakness and the source of sin in what we represent to ourselves. All of that, because we simply do not know any better.
We look at others, envy them their skills or possessions, believing that they got more lucky in life, or they are in some way special. But when we recognize that all those skills were pulled from one General Soul Centre of Skills available to all souls, that there is plenty of money, love and goodness to go around, in fact, there are unlimited amounts of it, the little grain of hope within us starts to grow. If you ever stand in front of a powerful waterfall, watching the tones of water constantly flowing down, without a break, without a shortage, without a strain, just constantly flowing, you will understand the unlimited nature of the Source of everything in the world.
We wonder why we do not have a good or fulfilling relationship with other people in our lives? Our children, spouses, parents, work colleagues. What we do not know is that it is impossible to have a fulfilling relationship with anybody without having a fulfilling relationship with ourselves first. For as long as you run away from yourself, so will the others. We know so little about ourselves, our physical bodies, emotions, fears and insecurities, the relationships between them and the influence they all have on us. On daily basis we operate the most complex invention of all, having absolutely no training, no idea or appreciation of what a master piece it is. That invention of course is our human life, in the dense, physical human vessel. The complexity of all that we are has never stopped amazing those who recognized it. Just ponder on the human body itself, without involving the different levels of consciousness, the emotional system, the soul aspect of us!
If a space rocket is one of the most sophisticated pieces of technology we have created, think about the intense selection process the space centres have in place in order to select the most suitable candidates for the job. Think about the amount of training it takes for an astronaut to be able to operate a space craft. Now multiply the complexity and sophistication of that invention by millions and then trillions and you might end up that bit closer to what we all take for granted – the marvellous and amazing Human Being. Would anybody allow just any person to operate a space shuttle? No, none of us would even expect it. Yet, it is a different story when it comes to living our lives in our own vessels. In our ignorance, most of the time it ends up being a hit and miss job.
And so, what is the Purpose in Life? How do we go about finding it?
Well, it is a few step process.
1st – Recognize and accept that your life does have a Purpose. You are unique and special. Not better, but special. Recognize that. Feel it. There is no other person in the world more special than you, regardless of what you might think of them. The lack of recognition of how special You are will keep you in the same place, depriving you of your chance to move forward. You have come into this life to joyfully search for that Purpose.
That purpose is usually closely connected to your job/profession. The minute you find it, you’ll never work a single day in your life. You simply to do what you love, and share that love with others. That job/profession will not only make you happy, but it will also help you to effortlessly create as much wealth as you desire.
Is this not what we all want?
2nd – Recognize and embrace the fact that your entire life is nothing else but a collection of lessons that you have prepared for yourself prior to your incarnation. In everything that happens in your life, regardless of how painful it seems, always focus on finding out what the lesson in it is for you. Remember that the lesson is always positive and empowering. No exceptions! For as long as you cannot find something of that (positive) nature in each difficult situation, you have not found the lesson in it yet. Learn to view everything as Neutral, give yourself the time to recognize both the positive and the negative aspects of it.
As we grow up we are taught to concentrate only on negative aspects of every difficult situation or person. It has been habituated within us and now we need to take the time and make the effort to teach ourselves to look at both sides of everything. It takes a lot of patience on our part, but not more than learning any other new skill.
At all times remain aware that nothing happens “to us”, that the events as they unfold are a result of our own Plan and that that plan in all its form is positive and constructive. Look for the goodness in all, and you will find it!
3rd – Assume full responsibility for your life – stop pointing your finger at others blaming them for your misfortunes. Such behaviour keeps you in the position of a victim. As a victim, you are hopeless and helpless. You feel that you have no control over the events of your life. You find yourself fighting against some big Monster, who always seems to be out there to get you. The minute you realise that there is nobody to fight with, all the tension within you disappears. As you relax you welcome the New into your life. With it comes Hope and an opportunity for something better.
Do not wait for your children to grow up and leave home, for you to make more money or for the boss to give you a long awaited promotion. Act now. Your happiness needs to come from you, not from a change in your external circumstances. Now is a good time to start!
4th – Do not look for the answers outside of yourself – you might be misguided or deprived of the most valuable experience of your life – finding yourself. There are many of those who claim to know the Truth. You might feel tempted to ask them. But no matter how tempted you are to ask about what your Life’s Purpose is, refrain from doing so. The journey that takes you to that discovery is worth all the riches of the world. This truth cannot be told, it has to be experienced! Be careful not to develop a dependence on somebody else. Ask others for guidance on how to find your Purpose, but do not ask what that Purpose is!
We limit ourselves in the variety of experiences that we have as we grow up. As children we see this world as an amazing and never-ending source of adventures and discoveries. Then, unfortunately, we grow up. We perform the same tasks every day, time becomes very precious and in constant shortage. We stop developing. How does a child learn that fire burns? You can tell him for hours how dangerous and unpleasant it is to stick his finger into the fire. Is that going to teach the child? No, without actually experiencing it himself, all the talking will be of very little use. As adults we stop experiencing and experimenting, we start presuming instead. How do you know if you enjoy driving a car if you have never driven in your life? You just do not. No amount of presuming will ever equal the actual experience. And in similar way, how can we tell what our abilities are, that make our Life Purpose, if we hardly ever try putting ourselves in new situations and challenges.
5th – Get to know yourself, your abilities and talents, your personal preferences, they all play a big role in your Life Purpose. Think about all the experiences of your life. They alone will provide you with a good clue of what your Mission or Purpose is. If since you were little you loved horses, dreamed of working with them ever since you remember, but your parents did not see a future for you there and sent you to an engineering school instead, where you have suffered each and every day, and now as a grown up engineer you feel that you have been suffering ever since, does that not provide you with a clue? If every chance you get to be outdoors gives you a sense of freedom so far removed from the world of offices full of other frustrated engineers, computers, impossible to reach targets, is that not a clue?
If you find it hard to find what makes you happy now, go back into your childhood, your teenage years. Remember again your dreams and desires. You will find that most of them are still valid. You will be surprised to find out that you knew yourself more as a child than an adult!
If you feel that you would like to try an new activity, something far removed from what you are used to, that perhaps sounds exotic at first, like gardening, cooking, painting, bungee jumping, rock climbing or anything else, that simply seems a fantasy, make the time to try it out. This could be your next clue!
6th – Recognize what makes you happy in life. It the answer is Sunday dinners with your in-laws and the new shrubs that you have just planted in the garden… then ask yourself the same question again. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with dinners with the in-laws or the shrubs, but perhaps you deserve better. I bet, when you were a child, you expected more from life than that! Have the same level of expectations now! Daydream, make lists of things you would like to achieve, see or have in life! Do not worry how they will come about, that’s not your problem. You just need to set the wheels into motion. The Greater Force will take care of the rest.
Do not hesitate to ask for what you REALLY want. Feel that you deserve it. Pretend that you already have it. And if you ever find yourself asking “who am I to think I can have it?”, ask yourself “and who am I NOT?!”
7th – Ask and be ready to receive the answers. It is impossible to get an answer to a question that was never asked! Ask, ask and ask some more. Knowledge is power. It helps you to make informed choices. Who do you ask? Mainly yourself. The answers will ALWAYS come, just be prepared to listen. They might come as a feeling, a thought, a sensation, a phrase that the person on the bus sitting in front of you says casually to her neighbour. Basically, there is an unlimited number of ways, in which the answers are given to us. But more often than not, they require us to change in a certain way. This is where the misunderstanding happens. We ask, and when we do, what we really mean is for the unpleasant situation/person ( = lesson) to be removed from our lives. The Higher Self knows that this is not a solution at all, as the same lesson will still have to be learned. The answer it gives us is how to deal with the situation/person in such a way, that the lesson can be learned faster and with greater ease. But often this is not the answer we want to hear. In fact, this is often the last thing we do want to hear! And so we choose not to recognize it, to ignore it, not to hear it. The situation in the mean time worsens, we grow more frustrated and convinced that there never was anybody to help us out there in the first place.
8th- Be patient, often your purpose is being revealed to you over a period of time. Therefore, looking back we might think that it has changed, but it did not really. It simply evolved. It is a bit like discovering a new vast territory, we get to see a piece of it at a time and only very slowly it all starts to become clear; only then we start to get an idea of what it really is. The fact that it evolves is very natural, it is a part of the natural Change, an ever present aspect of our lives. We open a door, walk into a room, thinking that this is it, that life cannot get any better than that, but only if we continue to look some more, we’ll notice that hidden in it is a door to a different room again. This is how we grow, how we discover new aspects of ourselves.
Know that your Purpose, just like you, is ever evolving. Having achieved what you wanted, start the process all over again. Look for more adventures, set new goals. Otherwise stagnation will slowly settle in, you will become accustomed to your little comfort zone and the longer you stay there, the more difficult it will be for you to step out of it. Soon you will forget to dream. Then you will forget who you are.
Turn your life into an ever flowing cascade of waterfalls, with plenty of potential, everlasting enthusiasm and hunger for life. Do not ever stop.
When you put together your dreams and desires, both those from the past, that still send a shiver down your spine when you think about them and the new ones, the direct results of you trying out new things in life, when you finally find the courage to admit what is it that you are good at in life, your Purpose will begin to emerge. It will take time. You will need to be patient. Each time you will reach a new level, thinking this is it, allow for the feeling of wanting more to take over. Never stop climbing the ladder of desire. Desire from your soul and you will never go wrong.
No matter how diverse your talents and abilities seem at first, trust that they fit some perfect “job description” that a very wise soul has put together with a lot of effort and even more love just for YOU! Do not be put off if the description does not fit into well known, world standard qualifications. You are your own boss and the only employee at the same time. Be kind, loving and understanding. Break the barriers that limit us all. Treasure your uniqueness and the fact that you are different! Remember, you are special after all!
Ally is on her journey of self-discovery. She is loving every minute of it. So am I. How about you?